Capable Magazine

by Mercury-Marvin Sunderland

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Yellow

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yellow

will leak out of the egg which has fallen off the wall

all the king’s horses

and all the king’s men

won’t put him back together again

​

yellow

he didn’t show the signs

not your typical stereotype of who he was supposed to be

he hasn’t been able to say

that everyone around him knew

​

eggs grow easy

at making sure they don’t fall

but it sure is easy to crack

slip up and smash into a collision

with the tiniest step

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i can’t say

i always knew

i can’t say

i rejected

what you thought what wouldn’t make me

​

i can say

that eggs will hatch

i can say

that eggs will fall

i can say

that many things were there

but i merely didn’t understand it

because i didn’t know that eggs were an option

because you told me eggs were a world different than what i was

​

yellow

will leak onto the walls

smash and create a field of daffodils

where all the butterflies

have come to mourn

​

not every caterpillar

got to become a beautiful butterfly

not every egg

got to hatch

​

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JK Rowling Wants Me Dead

​

i blended

blueberries

raspberries

blackberries

lemon juice

lime juice

​

ice for my smoothie this morning

​

and i guess i’ve gotten so used to drinking

that my brain said maybe you can make smoothies without the alcohol

and i laughed

because i don’t drink in mornings

​

i drank

to another breakfast

in this house by myself

​

it has been ten years

since my eleventh birthday

​

today on my facebook i discovered

that jk rowling

otherwise known as the bigot who wrote harry potter

released a new book this morning

about a cis man who dresses up as a woman

so he can kill them

​

and this non-alcoholic breakfast

couldn’t help me

even if i was drunk out of my mind

​

jk rowling wants me dead

she is a known advocate for the genocide of transgender people

and i know

this novel

will lead to more and more trans deaths

​

my breakfast

is sour

and i pucker up

and drink anyway

on my tongue

tastes the bitterness

of lonely mornings

trauma that isn't shared

with so many

​

my eyes tear

and my hands are shaking

and i know this isn't just my adhd

​

i spill

this red drink

and yet again

i must mop myself up

​

clean up the area

and show for the rest of the world

there is no spill

​

i blended

blueberries

raspberries

blackberries

lemon juice

lime juice

​

ice for my smoothie this morning

​

i guess i’ve gotten so used to drinking

that my brain said maybe you can make smoothies without the alcohol

and i laughed

because i don’t drink in mornings.